I Won't Be Denied, Chapter 3
Jan. 11th, 2019 02:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anysinChapter 3 to my ongoing Ford Pines/Dipper Pines fanfic with dark!Dipper. Hosted previously on Tumblr and also AO3, but now will also be featured here. Overall fic has warnings for dark!Dipper, non-con and underage.
This chapter has warnings for mind control via romance pollen, nothing explicit takes place.
Chapter 3: Descent
Dipper has made a terrible mistake.
That's the thought that keeps coursing through his mind as he walks through the forest, hearing Ford walk behind him. They are heading towards the Shack, where- well, he has no idea what will happen at the Shack. Is Ford going to tell Stan and Mabel about what happened? Will he keep his silence, but ignore Dipper forever from now on? He doesn't know which path is worse, but they both lead to the same place: him losing Ford.
He can't stand that.
"Dipper?"
He's breathing hard and fast, too fast; he has to stop with walking, pacing over to a tree so he can lean his head against the bark, closing his eyes as he tries to calm himself down. But the panic grips his chest tight, turning his knees wobbly and filling his head with noise; he wraps his arms tight around himself, whimpering with every inhale.
"Dipper, listen to me." Ford isn't touching Dipper, but he's standing close, leaning over him as he speaks to him in a soft, calm voice. "I need you to hold your breath for me in ten second intervals."
Dipper almost doesn't want to, not when Ford is refusing to touch him. But he needs to start thinking clearly, so he does as he's told and it works. But his chest still feels crowded with fear when he turns around towards Ford, looking up at him.
He expects Ford to look disgusted, or at least like he holds Dipper responsible for everything that happened; it would be true, even. Instead, Ford looks openly, deeply guilty, and his voice is likewise heavy with it when he starts to talk:
"Dipper, I'm so sorry about what happened there. I should have put a stop to it, once I realized what was happening."
Ford glances down, shoulders slumped like there is a great weight on them. Dipper stares at him with wide eyes, unable to believe what he's hearing.
"I need to surrender to authorities as soon as we get home," Ford says after a while, lifting his eyes up again. He looks determined, which is a look that Dipper usually loves on him, but now the sight of it makes Dipper feel sick. "It's for the best, Dipper. I'm obviously a danger to y-"
"No!"
They both start at Dipper's raised voice, but Dipper doesn't care; now that he's feeling all right again, he strides over to Ford, reaching out to grab him from the lapels of his coat. Ford goes tense all over, but he doesn't try to move away, giving Dipper a chance to speak:
"Ford, please. You did nothing I didn't want. Please, don't go. Don't tell anyone." He can't help himself; he pushes into Ford's space, pressing up against him as he rests his head against Ford's chest, burying his face against his red sweater.
"Don't leave me."
It's only later when he'll be thinking about Ford's reactions to being commanded, how he had tensed and tried to resist in the tree trunk.
That's when he'll appreciate the fact that Ford neither tenses or resists now.
"I won't," Ford says. He lifts his hand to cup the back of Dipper's head, grasping it lightly. "I won't leave."
*
The next morning, Dipper makes an extra strong dose of his pollen mix for Ford's smoothie. He needs to calm Ford down, make sure he's especially receptive to any and all incentives from Dipper. He tries not to be hasty when he makes his way to the basement, walks up to Ford.
"Here's your smoothie, Great Uncle Ford!"
By now, smoothies have become a routine for them; Ford usually just grabs it out of Dipper's hands without thinking twice about it, sometimes taking his first sip immediately, sometimes not. However, this time he turns around on his chair, giving the bottle in Dipper's hands a contemplative stare while Dipper's stomach fills with cold.
He knows. He knows!
"Maybe not today?" he offers, even though he should keep his mouth shut, play it casual. But he's starting to panic, his breathing getting just a bit faster. "Okay, I'll just-"
"What do you have for me?"
Ford looks up at him, his eyes calm. The sight of them doesn't entirely soothe Dipper, but he starts feeling hopeful again, saying:
"It has mango, pineapple and kiwi. I, um, thought it could be interesting." Dipper has to grab the bottle with both hands to keep himself from shaking, but he can't keep himself from licking his lips nervously. "I can take it away if you don't want it. It's fine."
"No, it's all right." Ford extends his hand out, taking the bottle from Dipper's hands. He starts to open the lid, smiling a bit as he keeps gazing at Dipper "It's very kind of you to keep doing this, Dipper."
Is Ford mocking him? Dipper doesn't know, but he laughs anyway, desperate to ease his nerves in any way. He feels like a string that has been pulled taut, about to snap any moment now.
"I want to help. It's good to help, right?" Damn it, he has to shut up already. He inhales hard and fast through his nostrils, then lets out a breath through his mouth. He would like to know if it's even possible for him to act more suspicious than this, but at the same time he really doesn't.
Ford watches him for a little while longer before glancing down at the bottle, peering at its contents. Dipper expects him to stand up and make his way to the nearest sink, pour it all out with a flourish when Ford takes the bottle to his lips instead, and takes a sip.
He could cry with relief.
*
It's only later when it occurs to him that Ford could be tricking him, pretending to go along with him in order to catch him in the act more conclusively. It doesn't stop him from making another smoothie with an extra strong dose the next day, or the next; he has to keep going. The possibility he could get to his goal with all of this is too big, too important to give up on.
Still, the idea that this is all deceit, that Ford actually hates him in secret, is almost too much to bear. Therefore, he does his best not to think about it.
*
Weirdly enough, it's Bill who turns out to be his salvation.
He is distracted first by the discovery that Bill is something more ancient, otherworldly and dangerous than what Dipper could have ever imagined, and then by Ford's decision to encrypt his mind. However, the encryption process is slow, giving him time to think. Too much time. He decides Ford is keeping things from him and that he needs to uncover the truth.
He regrets it deeply when he finds himself surrounded by memorabilia of Bill, face to face with his possessed Great Uncle.
"Stay away from me!"
Except if it was Bill, he wouldn't halt in mid movement like that, like he's been struck. He wouldn't do exactly what Dipper says, looking sullen and frustrated about it but doing it anyway. Dipper hesitates, his hand that is holding the gun shaking hard before he lowers it down, takes a deep breath.
"Great Uncle Ford," he says, hating how small he sounds. "If it's you, show me you-"
Ford acts before Dipper can even finish his sentence, taking his glasses off. He looks strangely incomplete without his glasses, like he's missing something crucial, but that doesn't matter right now: what matters is that his eyes are his own, with no sign of Bill. He is there, doing Dipper's bidding all on his own.
"Dipper," Ford says, and hearing his voice is too much; Dipper clutches the snowglobe against his chest with both arms, whimpering in his throat as he sinks down to the floor.
Ford keeps his distance, still obeying the order. But he stays there, even though Dipper hasn't forbidden him from leaving; he even kneels down so they're on the same level, trying to catch Dipper's eye.
"Dipper," he says again, and that's when Dipper can't resist anymore; lowering the snowglobe carefully to the ground, he crawls over to Ford, and throws his arms around him.
He fears for a moment that he has made the wrong choice as Ford doesn't instantly return the embrace, but soon his arms are around Dipper too, his jaw coming down to rest on top of Dipper's head as he squeezes Dipper tight against him. He is solid and warm, comforting.
His.
*
When Stan tells him and Mabel they're going to a road trip, Dipper has to break both his and Mabel's hearts.
"I want to stay here with Ford," he says, feeling that straight-forward is the best way to go. He almost can't bear to look at their disappointed faces, but he makes himself; he owes them that at least. "He's not gonna come and I don't think it's good for him to be alone. We'll be fine."
Stan and Mabel aren't happy, but they don't protest in the end; they know how important Ford is to Dipper by now. Dipper vows to make things up for them eventually, but right now he's eager to get them out of the house and far away, leave him alone with Ford.
He and Mabel will go home soon: he has to have Ford before that. This is his chance.
This chapter has warnings for mind control via romance pollen, nothing explicit takes place.
Chapter 3: Descent
Dipper has made a terrible mistake.
That's the thought that keeps coursing through his mind as he walks through the forest, hearing Ford walk behind him. They are heading towards the Shack, where- well, he has no idea what will happen at the Shack. Is Ford going to tell Stan and Mabel about what happened? Will he keep his silence, but ignore Dipper forever from now on? He doesn't know which path is worse, but they both lead to the same place: him losing Ford.
He can't stand that.
"Dipper?"
He's breathing hard and fast, too fast; he has to stop with walking, pacing over to a tree so he can lean his head against the bark, closing his eyes as he tries to calm himself down. But the panic grips his chest tight, turning his knees wobbly and filling his head with noise; he wraps his arms tight around himself, whimpering with every inhale.
"Dipper, listen to me." Ford isn't touching Dipper, but he's standing close, leaning over him as he speaks to him in a soft, calm voice. "I need you to hold your breath for me in ten second intervals."
Dipper almost doesn't want to, not when Ford is refusing to touch him. But he needs to start thinking clearly, so he does as he's told and it works. But his chest still feels crowded with fear when he turns around towards Ford, looking up at him.
He expects Ford to look disgusted, or at least like he holds Dipper responsible for everything that happened; it would be true, even. Instead, Ford looks openly, deeply guilty, and his voice is likewise heavy with it when he starts to talk:
"Dipper, I'm so sorry about what happened there. I should have put a stop to it, once I realized what was happening."
Ford glances down, shoulders slumped like there is a great weight on them. Dipper stares at him with wide eyes, unable to believe what he's hearing.
"I need to surrender to authorities as soon as we get home," Ford says after a while, lifting his eyes up again. He looks determined, which is a look that Dipper usually loves on him, but now the sight of it makes Dipper feel sick. "It's for the best, Dipper. I'm obviously a danger to y-"
"No!"
They both start at Dipper's raised voice, but Dipper doesn't care; now that he's feeling all right again, he strides over to Ford, reaching out to grab him from the lapels of his coat. Ford goes tense all over, but he doesn't try to move away, giving Dipper a chance to speak:
"Ford, please. You did nothing I didn't want. Please, don't go. Don't tell anyone." He can't help himself; he pushes into Ford's space, pressing up against him as he rests his head against Ford's chest, burying his face against his red sweater.
"Don't leave me."
It's only later when he'll be thinking about Ford's reactions to being commanded, how he had tensed and tried to resist in the tree trunk.
That's when he'll appreciate the fact that Ford neither tenses or resists now.
"I won't," Ford says. He lifts his hand to cup the back of Dipper's head, grasping it lightly. "I won't leave."
*
The next morning, Dipper makes an extra strong dose of his pollen mix for Ford's smoothie. He needs to calm Ford down, make sure he's especially receptive to any and all incentives from Dipper. He tries not to be hasty when he makes his way to the basement, walks up to Ford.
"Here's your smoothie, Great Uncle Ford!"
By now, smoothies have become a routine for them; Ford usually just grabs it out of Dipper's hands without thinking twice about it, sometimes taking his first sip immediately, sometimes not. However, this time he turns around on his chair, giving the bottle in Dipper's hands a contemplative stare while Dipper's stomach fills with cold.
He knows. He knows!
"Maybe not today?" he offers, even though he should keep his mouth shut, play it casual. But he's starting to panic, his breathing getting just a bit faster. "Okay, I'll just-"
"What do you have for me?"
Ford looks up at him, his eyes calm. The sight of them doesn't entirely soothe Dipper, but he starts feeling hopeful again, saying:
"It has mango, pineapple and kiwi. I, um, thought it could be interesting." Dipper has to grab the bottle with both hands to keep himself from shaking, but he can't keep himself from licking his lips nervously. "I can take it away if you don't want it. It's fine."
"No, it's all right." Ford extends his hand out, taking the bottle from Dipper's hands. He starts to open the lid, smiling a bit as he keeps gazing at Dipper "It's very kind of you to keep doing this, Dipper."
Is Ford mocking him? Dipper doesn't know, but he laughs anyway, desperate to ease his nerves in any way. He feels like a string that has been pulled taut, about to snap any moment now.
"I want to help. It's good to help, right?" Damn it, he has to shut up already. He inhales hard and fast through his nostrils, then lets out a breath through his mouth. He would like to know if it's even possible for him to act more suspicious than this, but at the same time he really doesn't.
Ford watches him for a little while longer before glancing down at the bottle, peering at its contents. Dipper expects him to stand up and make his way to the nearest sink, pour it all out with a flourish when Ford takes the bottle to his lips instead, and takes a sip.
He could cry with relief.
*
It's only later when it occurs to him that Ford could be tricking him, pretending to go along with him in order to catch him in the act more conclusively. It doesn't stop him from making another smoothie with an extra strong dose the next day, or the next; he has to keep going. The possibility he could get to his goal with all of this is too big, too important to give up on.
Still, the idea that this is all deceit, that Ford actually hates him in secret, is almost too much to bear. Therefore, he does his best not to think about it.
*
Weirdly enough, it's Bill who turns out to be his salvation.
He is distracted first by the discovery that Bill is something more ancient, otherworldly and dangerous than what Dipper could have ever imagined, and then by Ford's decision to encrypt his mind. However, the encryption process is slow, giving him time to think. Too much time. He decides Ford is keeping things from him and that he needs to uncover the truth.
He regrets it deeply when he finds himself surrounded by memorabilia of Bill, face to face with his possessed Great Uncle.
"Stay away from me!"
Except if it was Bill, he wouldn't halt in mid movement like that, like he's been struck. He wouldn't do exactly what Dipper says, looking sullen and frustrated about it but doing it anyway. Dipper hesitates, his hand that is holding the gun shaking hard before he lowers it down, takes a deep breath.
"Great Uncle Ford," he says, hating how small he sounds. "If it's you, show me you-"
Ford acts before Dipper can even finish his sentence, taking his glasses off. He looks strangely incomplete without his glasses, like he's missing something crucial, but that doesn't matter right now: what matters is that his eyes are his own, with no sign of Bill. He is there, doing Dipper's bidding all on his own.
"Dipper," Ford says, and hearing his voice is too much; Dipper clutches the snowglobe against his chest with both arms, whimpering in his throat as he sinks down to the floor.
Ford keeps his distance, still obeying the order. But he stays there, even though Dipper hasn't forbidden him from leaving; he even kneels down so they're on the same level, trying to catch Dipper's eye.
"Dipper," he says again, and that's when Dipper can't resist anymore; lowering the snowglobe carefully to the ground, he crawls over to Ford, and throws his arms around him.
He fears for a moment that he has made the wrong choice as Ford doesn't instantly return the embrace, but soon his arms are around Dipper too, his jaw coming down to rest on top of Dipper's head as he squeezes Dipper tight against him. He is solid and warm, comforting.
His.
*
When Stan tells him and Mabel they're going to a road trip, Dipper has to break both his and Mabel's hearts.
"I want to stay here with Ford," he says, feeling that straight-forward is the best way to go. He almost can't bear to look at their disappointed faces, but he makes himself; he owes them that at least. "He's not gonna come and I don't think it's good for him to be alone. We'll be fine."
Stan and Mabel aren't happy, but they don't protest in the end; they know how important Ford is to Dipper by now. Dipper vows to make things up for them eventually, but right now he's eager to get them out of the house and far away, leave him alone with Ford.
He and Mabel will go home soon: he has to have Ford before that. This is his chance.
